


Human

by PestyBandit



Category: True Blood
Genre: Drug Abuse, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Abuse, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-25 00:07:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3789322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PestyBandit/pseuds/PestyBandit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amiena is a young girl that has been kidnapped and sold with a group of girls that are regularly beaten and raped. One night when they escape everything goes wrong but before Amiena can die Godric is there to save her. This doesn't follow any seasons and Eric is Godric's only child. Sookie and Bill are together and their relationship has progressed to the point of season two.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Drop.

Drop.

Drop.

Water dripping from rusted pipes is the only promise we have in the cellar that time is moving on. The smell of each bloody drop is so strong my nostrils are filled immediately as if a bomb has gone off less than a mile away. The thought of water is bitter sweet to me. The only time we ever taste it on our tongues is when we have to brush our teeth for parties but even then we can't swallow. The only time we get to feel it on our skin is when we have to wash for parties but even then we can't have one sip. For months our only source of hydration has been someone's old beer, the last bit of alcohol in a forgotten glass, or the snow from outside that falls into the basement from the hole in my cell.

Tentatively I crawl toward the small mound that grows on the floor. I'm freezing all over but my thirst overcomes my need for warmth in this second and so I inch my way toward the cold. In the basement there are six cells that are roughly the length and width of seven girls lying on their back. The floor is some kind of cement that holds onto temperature so that we are never comfortable. In the heat we are scorched and in the cold we are frozen. The walls are made out of hard stones grouped together that are always wet and the bars that surround each cell are as thick and old as the pipes that hang over our heads. There is no light down here except for the cracks around the thick door and the moonshine that comes from the hole in my corner.

We have a thick board to cover most of the light so that when the men come they don't see it but still some comes through. From this some I take a small bit of snow that has gathered and shove it in my mouth before it melts in my palm. It tastes like freedom I'll never know.

The door slams open along with the vicious shout, "Next time you bite my dick I'm going to rip your fucking neck out."

The sickening sound of a body going splat against the ground echoes around us and I shrivel back to the other side of my cell and away from the hole. There is a gasp from the girls in the other cells but I shut my eyes tight and cover my ears with my hands. If I'm a small speck of dust there's no reason for him to look at me. There's no reason for anyone to look at me. I'm only dust after all. I'm only dust.

I can just barley hear the sound of his angry voice as the metal clink of the cell door vibrates through the bars at my back. I know he's warning us about something but I can't brave myself enough to lower my ears and hear it. The cellar door is heaved shut once more and we are left alone in the darkness.

My hands fall slightly as I turn to look at the cell next to mine and at the girl crumbled on the floor. The others escape their confides—we have all become thin enough to fit through the bars—to curl around the one on the floor. I don't want to see what has become of Benita.

Since being here, we have all become close and since I've never had siblings I think of them like sisters. When they're hurt a tight ball forms in the pit of my stomach and squeezes so tight I think I might explode into crazy arrangements of light. There are only nine of us left and after losing so many of the others I can't stand to lose another friend. If she's gone that will only leave eight of us and they don't like even numbers and they don't like groups of seven and nothing can function with only five girls. We'll all die. We'll just all die.

Allie leans over Benita and lifts her up slowly into her arms where I can see a pool of blood falling from her mouth. I cringe away at the sight and cover my nose with my hands because I can smell the blood from here. Seeing them together like that—the two strongest girls—makes we weak like my own stuff is falling out on the floor to mix with Bennie's. I hate the sight of all that red and the smell and the taste and what it all means everywhere all at once. It never goes away; it always stains.

But that's not just it.

I can hear the girls whispering with each other but I can't focus on their sounds. Allie has always remained the leader of us with Benita has her second in command. They always complimented each other well and worked so hard to keep us safe despite the obvious fact that Allie never liked me. Allie is always the head strong, self-assured one while Benita is the feisty one that's tough enough to get away with saying no. Together they defend us and communicate with the men for whatever they can get because the men have always liked them. They would never hurt them.

That is until now.

The whispers come to an end and Allie lowers Benita into Cally's arms as she slowly starts to stand. I have no idea with Allie and those green eyes that have always comforted me in the dark will do but I know it will be for the best. She is the wise one, the one that knows how to think ahead for the best outcome. I have trust in her because she can do anything. But I cannot stand the way her eyes suddenly leap to mine in the middle of her stand.

Allie has never looked at me directly of her own free will. She doesn't like me because I'm the only one that hasn't felt the harsh touch of the men. For some reason they make sure that I am off limits to the visitors and never get to see the rooms these girls are forced to endure. She doesn't understand what makes me so special and to be honest, neither do I. I know I can't be of any help, which is why I shrink at the sound of her joining the cell with me.

"Amiena."

There is no softness in her voice. At least with Cally and Briana they talk to me with words like gentle blankets. Bria and Amni talk to me like I'm a baby while Catty doesn't talk at all. Benita talks to everyone with authority and amusement but Allie. Never once has she said anything to me so I don't know why I'm so afraid of the harshness in her tone. Does she mean to throw me to the men? Sacrifice me in some way? I don't know but I'm terrified.

"We have to escape this place tonight."

"No."

The word plummets from my mouth like a cannonball. In my mind I can see so clearly what had been done to the girls that tried to escape before us. They were massacred. Right in front of our eyes they were shot against the back wall. All those bodies piled on the earth with all those holes. Everything was so red I could feel the Earth bleed. How could she want that for us?

"They'll kill us all."

"Nelson hit you today," her words are still in the air as she watches me. The right side of my face is still slightly red from his hand but I don't feel it swell because of the cold.

I don't even remember why he did it. He had dragged me upstairs and had shouted some things then all of a sudden I was on the ground and holding my face. I nod weakly as I answer, "Yes."

"The attacks have been getting worse and worse. Do you agree?"

"Yes."

"More frequently too."

"Yes."

"Do you know what that means?"

I'm silent here and all I can do is stare at her quietly.

"The new group will be here on Friday, Amiena. We're being replaced," she answers her own question without the slightest emotion in her words, "We're dead already."

I shake my head in disbelief but I'm already crying because I know it's true.

She grabs my arms suddenly and hisses, "There's no time for you to cry, alright? We need to get out of here right now and we need you to come with us. If you stay they'll kill you but if you come there's a chance that you can be free. Do you understand? We can't leave you behind."

"But what if we get caught," I shiver.

Allie is silent for a moment as she looks upward into the darkness that no one can see. I'm afraid she's going to hit me or hurt me but then she does something much worse. Her eyes are filled with tears and she holds onto my hands so desperately I'm afraid she's going to crack my bones. She takes in a deep breath as she whispers, "But Amiena, what if we don't?"

But what if we don't seems like a good enough argument to me.

I nod my head once and her face erupts into a smile that I have not seen in so long. She looks over to the other girls in the cell behind me, motioning for them to come over as quickly as they can. Allie rushes to the hole and pushes aside the board to reveal the hole's actual size to be large enough for us to escape one at a time. A cold breeze hits me hard as she begins to push some of the snow as far away as she can. Second thoughts come to me as I consider that the only thing we have to wear are old, bloody dresses that have become rags with no socks or shoes for our feet.

I open my mouth to protest but Allie has already crawled out and leans her head inside to smile, "Come out, the weather's perfect."

Cally helps Benita out through the hole first and then the girls follow in turn. It's Amni, Bria, Briana, Catty, and Cassy until finally it's me that Cally promises to help push through. Each girl has crawled out of the hole more confident than the last but I'm still shivering, as my hands grow numb in the cold that I can't pull myself out of. The faces of the girls outside are pricelessly filled with joy but something inside of me tells me this night will not be one I can celebrate. I want to tell them to all come back in but suddenly Cally places her hand on my shoulder and gives me a smile I can't deny.

I reach my arms out and suddenly Allie grabs my wrists and—as Cally pushes me—hoists me out into the frigid air. My arms wrap around myself as my knees knock together and my teeth chatter. The only thing that surrounds us are the woods that have become white in the evening air and I find myself thinking of when we had arrived. How long were we driving before we got here? How far is the highway?

An arm wraps around my shoulder and I look up to see Catty who seems happier than she's ever been in her entire life. On my other side is Cally who helps to also hold up Benita with Allie's help. Together we huddle in a line as we begin to move through the woods with each other's help. I feel warm and optimistic with the bodies around me but most importantly with the hope that flies through the sky. These are my sisters after all; we can do anything together.

And for just two miles we do.

The swift sound of a whizt passes by my ear and I turn my head backward to see a fresh splatter of red over the blanket of snow. I look ahead once more only to release a silent scream. Without my support Cally falls to the ground as a waterfall of red chunks streams from the top of her head. Bria's shriek pierces the night and unleashes the hell fire of broken bullet showers. The girls take off around me but I crumble to my knees desperately trying to put all the tiny pieces back together. She had given me her sweater on the ride here. I had been so cold in my bathing suit and she had given me her sweater. Mush slips past my fingers as I work to scoop it out of the ground and into my friend's head but she's dead.

She's just dead.

Another whizt sound fills the air but my body reflexively moves and I somehow duck out of the way. I think I'm okay until I see Bria drop to the ground and suddenly Allie is in front of me and she grabs my arm and screams, "Run!"

I jump to my feet at her call and begin to sprint as fast as I can away from the thundering noise. I don't think I'll ever stop until my body takes over once again and I dive behind a tree that is so massive it covers me easily. Some of its roots have been uplifted and I know I can hide beneath them if I try but my attention is elsewhere. Amni is screaming as she tries to claw away from a man that is on top of her about to rape her. I stand from my spot just as another man grabs my arm but I don't wait for him to act. I shove the base of my palm into his nose and once his grip is loosened I grasp the Uzi from him and shoot both him and the man over my friend.

The two men drop dead and Amni struggles to crawl out from under him so I run toward her and shove him off with strength I didn't know I had. I grab her arm and as Allie had done to me I shove her forward so hard she propels through the air with new speed. But it's no victory. A harsh shriek guides my sight to the very person I had just impersonated on the ground just as a heavy boots lands at the center of her face. Benita is off to my right behind dragged away and someone else I can't tell is being shoved down and I don't have time to think I just shoot and shoot and they all fall down.

As I rush to Benita I hear Cassy calling me and crying and when I get to her that tight ball in the center of my stomach squeezes and I want to scream too. Her leg is twisted and bent and broken in a bear trap that looks so old it promises that if she doesn't die from a bullet wound she'll die from infection. A man runs toward us but I aim the Uzi and fire until he's gone. I drop down and with my new strength pry the thing apart so that she can get away. She pulls herself out and I turn to catch sight of Catty being beaten and though I lift my gun and fire nothing happens because I'm out of bullets.

I stand and rush toward the man I had just shot down but a harsh pain explodes through my leg I fall. I try to stand up once more but it's no use and so I crawl with all my might to the other weapon and use it to take out the man that was just about to land his deathblow on Catty who is on the ground. Somehow I manage to get up and limp toward Catty but once I get there I don't even recognize her anymore. Her face is dismantled and ruined and I can't believe what is in front of my eyes. It can't be her.

"Catt-?"

The harsh pain rips through my shoulder and I crumble on top of my leg that burns like a furnace. I reach my hand up to touch my chest but in its place all I see is blood and red and hurt and death. My vision gets blurred but still I reach for Catty in the hopes of pulling her out of darkness until something hard hits me in the back of my head and darkness becomes all that I know.

…

Screams.

It's the first thing I hear and it pulls me out of my darkness to the reality that has unfolded around me. Screams fall like birds from the sky but they aren't girl screams…they are the screams of the men. I try to open my eyes but everything in my body hurts so bad I don't want to wake up. It's a dull throbbing that surrounds me and I want the dark sleep because I'm afraid if I awake my pain will get specific and unbearable. I'm so cold and so numb that I'm not afraid anymore of what will happen when I never open my eyes again. I already feel like I'm in a casket.

I don't know where I am but I know I'm still outside and still beneath the snow yet everything is different. I feel like I'm lying in a small trench that keeps my arms and legs straight and tight together while my head is on a pillow of snow. I can feel that there is a white thick blanket of fresh winter on top of me as if I've been buried in the sand. Even if I wanted to move it would be impossible. I might as well just let the heaviness take me.

Silence.

The screaming of the men comes so suddenly to an end that terror jolts me awake and into the full pain of every wound my body faces. But the pain isn't the bad part now. The bad part is now I know why they were screaming. Sometimes, when things were too much, we would all get together and tell stories and it was Benita that told the story coming true around me now. It's him. It's Death!

I know it's him and I know he's coming for me and that hard fact makes me realize how much I don't want to die. In front of me is a hot, white flash of the future that should have been mine and I don't want to lose it. There's something for me out there that I have to grasp and if I die there will be nothing for that thing without me. We shouldn't have escaped. If we didn't escape none of this would have happened and Death wouldn't be coming for me. There's so much I have to do!

But like a dream I open my eyes and see that here he is.

He's different from how Benita described. She said he would wear a black robe and would carry something called a sickle. She said he didn't have a face but in the twinkling moonlight I can see one now. He is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and under the snow and the stars I swear he glows. This image of Death is more realistic than Benita's. After all…everyone wants to see something beautiful before they go.

Blood drips from his chin and onto his body but otherwise he is perfectly still. The pain reminds me that I am still alive and though I know who he is I start to doubt myself. He looks at me in the way I can't understand and though I know the answer I still ask, "Are you Death?"

"I am," he answers with a voice that reveals itself to be the most amazing sound I have ever had the pleasure of listening to.

Slowly I blink away the haze before my eyes but I am even more confused than I had been before. For someone so timeless he doesn't even have hair on his face. I'm stunned enough to whisper, "But you're so young."

He shakes his head with a kind and modest smile, "I am not."

With new strength surging through me I try to look away and around as I question, "The men? My sisters?"

"Dead."

I want to ask if he means everyone—even Amni and Cassy—but I know I don't want to know the truth. If I die in this second I want to have the hope that they made it through. Somehow, someway they managed to escape the men and escape Death. Even if that means I couldn't.

"I was watching you this night," his voice calls my attention back to him and the tears that had built up in my eyes force their way backward across my vision. He has another smile for me and if I had enough blood saved up I probably would blush, "I never saw anyone fight like you—so selfless and so brave for someone so small."

"You're small too."

Death's smile breaks apart to release a laugh that sounds like my grandfather's chime collection on a windy day. But the opening of his mouth shows something I wasn't prepared for. I see fangs as he replies, "I know. Isn't it wonderful?"

I don't know how to answer. The pain is still inside of me though it is all just one giant blob of hurt. It reminds me that I don't have long to live and despite the smiles and the laughing I'm with Death who plans to kill me. I shut my eyes and ponder out loud, "What are you waiting for, Death? You have other people to get to on your list. Just kill me now."

Though I'm expecting some kind of pain to greet me there is nothing that comes. I peak my eyes open and see he is completely different from how I had left him just one second ago. His brows are furrowed like he's thinking about a question he might be too afraid to ask. Somehow in his timelessness he appears to be a shy boy planning his words patiently. He opens his mouth but shuts them once again as if he were embarrassed by what he would say. His face becomes stone and serious just then and finally he asks with slow and deliberate force, "Could you be a companion of Death? Could you walk with me through the world—through the dark? I could teach you all I know. I would be your father, your brother, your friend, your…lover."

Once again I don't know how to respond. The only thing I manage to let out is the question that I so rightly need to ask, "Why me?"

"To give us the thing that we have both been deprived of," his face is soft and his answer so far away, "Life."

"Life?"

My voice is flying away from me just like everything that is going on. I only manage to catch sight of his smile before I feel his sharp fangs dig into my neck. The pain makes everything go away but then the pain is gone too. The darkness is overwhelming but suddenly I feel a cool liquid at my lips and I hear is voice in the distance so far away from me.

"Hurry! Drink!"

I can't deny Death.

I listen and I drink.


	2. Chapter 2

Darkness.

Change.

Cold. Warmth.

Light. No light.

Arms. Death.

Suffocation. Movement.

Whisper.

"Don't move. You are not ready yet."

Silence.

Darkness.

Soil.

Cold. Warmth.

Change.

...

The first thing I notice despite the cold is the darkness that is absolutely everywhere. There is change—change everywhere—and yet I can't figure out exactly where or what it is. I reach out for anyone around me but there is nothing and there is no one and panic seizes me and I begin to scream. Dirt fills my nostrils and my mouth and my eyes but what suffocates me is the loneliness, the fear, and the change. There is a constant moving all around that doesn't stop, doesn't stop even for one second at all.

I—no, not "I" and not "me" but something better, stronger, faster, smarter, dead, and alive—stand but it's less than standing. I'm not moving but the world is shrinking beneath me so that I may ascend. No, I don't just stand; I shift the elements that surround me with a demand that they obey. I can feel the dirt sliding off of me but the dirt doesn't just slide. Every mineral leaps off of my skin to join the rest of the soil on the ground so that I am clean and not displeased in anyway.

Once I'm out of my empty home I see that I am exposed but my body is not my body anymore. It's better; it's stronger; it's much, much faster than I remember. A breeze comes along the night to study me as I study myself—the new creature that I am. It glides past me without the thought of touching but I want to feel the gentle sensation. I lift my arms—not my arms—to dance with the invisible scarves that wrap and hold and fall like silk around me as if we are playing a simple game.

Shift.

I understand that earth had just been shifted under someone's foot and as I turn my head in that direction I realize now that I am not alone. My body stiffens as I see exactly who is with me here. It is Death and he is watching me. Memories trickle into my mind of the last encounter but the strangest thing occurs. The memories don't occupy my mind because it is not my mind—it's better, stronger, faster, and way smarter. I can recall our conversation and at the same time focus on the way the leaves wave to welcome me to this new world. I can see the chemical reactions taking place inside the green tree-hands as I catalogue exactly what Death is wearing that is all nice and new. There is so much more I can do inside of here than I could ever do before. Before I had been crippled by my fear but now I can shiver at his frightening, handsome glory and remember everything that had happened at the same time.

Of their own will, my eyes rise over the contours of his face until they meet his glowing orbs that contain so much unstoppable power. I immediately burst into a million different emotions that hurt too much to feel because they aren't my emotions; they are stronger, they are harder, they are scarier, and they are impossible to control. In order to survive I look back to the ground I had come from and the ground that he stands upon. Not even his shoes are dirty. Just like me the soil is afraid of him and why shouldn't it be? Nothing is safe from Death.

Another shift.

I understand now that he is waiting for me to do something but I don't know what it could possibly be. A part of me considers dropping down at his feet to thank him for saving me but I know he won't like that and neither would I. The only other thing I can imagine is to curtsy like we had for the guests when they arrived but in the middle of the action I get understandably distracted. I grasp the edges of my dress and find myself totally and completely entertained by the material! My old rags are replaced by a comfortable, short white dress that flows out in all directions so that when I spin it goes up like Marilyn Monroe. I wonder if he had given it to me, if he had dressed me, if he had seen me naked in all the dirt.

The laughter like wind chimes leaks into the atmosphere and I realize that it's him. I stop instantly and fall into the curtsy that I am so used to doing. With my right leg bent behind my left I wait as I hold onto the edges of my dress with my head bent downward because I can't meet his eyes again. There is no way I can manage to look into them again because I cannot grasp the power inside of them—no one can. But to my surprise I feel the strength of his hand that is so tender as it rests beneath my chin to guide my face up and my body along with it.

Oh, Death.

I can feel things bursting and crashing inside of my chest because I can't contain all the feelings inside of myself. I'm grateful, I'm afraid, I'm happy, I'm devastated and to top it off I'm confused. Confused by what has been done to me and even more confused by what his eyes continue to do to me.

His eyes.

I can remember them when I was dying, before I was dead and before I became what ever it is that I am now. He had asked me: _Could you be a companion of Death? Could you walk with me through the world—through the dark? I could teach you all I know. I would be your father, your brother, your friend, your…lover._ Every thought I had before is flooded out of my mind with a strange heat that makes my face go red. Without my control my hands leap up to my face to cover what has happened as a strange shiver flows through out of my body. A sharp aching in my gums pops in a way that cuts my hands but my focus isn't on my fingers.

Does he remember what he asked of me?

Does he remember that I said yes?

I lower my hands to see that I have small cuts the shape of holes. Before a trickle of blood can escape the air from my lungs is stripped from me as I watch the tiny holes disappear before my eyes. Nervously, I lift my hands to touch my mouth and there I find exactly what made the holes. I have fangs—sharp fangs that cause the aches. I don't understand.

"Death?" I question quietly as I focus upward on him and yet I am lost again; this time I am lost in my own voice. It's somehow better, stronger, much more beautiful than I recalled; it's so easy to speak, almost effortless.

"My name," his voice is like a magnet that awakens the blood inside of me so that my veins vibrate like the engine of a car just starting up, "is Godric."

The weight of his name is so heavy upon me that my legs give out and refuse to hold me up. But his arms capture me before I hit the ground. His strength is so consuming and the heat his body radiates reminds me of the cold, warm home I was in for so long. That place, I realize, was him holding me in that hole in the ground.

"Take a moment. Don't try to move," his voice is as gentle and as patient as I remember and I know I can't deny his command.

But I hadn't been aware that I had even tried to move.

Godric, his name is Godric. It's a wonderful name that is far better than Death.

The seconds trickle by and with each passing minute I find the vibrating vanishes so I can use my strength to get back onto my feet. My eyes glance up to show that I am ready but as I do I find that they begin to wander. They travel like tourists up the curve of his neck, to his chin, his lips, his nose, his eyes.

He pulls away suddenly and it's only then that I realize my eyes weren't alone; they were guiding my hands! I drop my hands so quickly in front of me and bow my head downward in submission because I know contact like that is punishable by beating. I quickly let out a desperate, "I'm sorry!"

But Godric doesn't hit me. Instead he replies, "Do not begin to apologize for your actions; if you do you will be apologizing all night. You will be consistently behaving in ways you never imagined. It is already to be expected."

Each word, each syllable sends a shiver through me that makes my knees go weak. I find it impossible to hold myself up and I wonder if this is what he means? What my body is doing? What's wrong with me? What have I become? I slump down but his arms are still around me so I only fall far enough for my head to rest on his chest. My face grows warm and I imagine he must hear my heart going crazy but strangely it doesn't. My heart isn't beating at all but neither is his. How can that be? How is that possible?

I open my mouth to ask but like a butterfly in a net my eyes get caught on something in the sky. My body moves away from him slightly so that I can raise my head to gaze at the sky in curiosity that quickly turns to awe. The sky has transformed into a velvet blanket of dark blue with holes poked through to reveal a beautiful shinning world hiding behind it. I'm so amazed by what is before me that I can't stop looking. The more I look though the more I see the stars are not holes and in fact are little balls of burning fire. Everything is so illuminated by these burning balls but it's not only the flaming orbs. There is no such thing as darkness anymore because I can see everything!

Everything: including the vehicle pulling into the cemetery.

With interest I turn my head but immediately catch the scent of lipstick wafting into the air. I recall how the men would make us wear the sick smelling material though this one doesn't smell so bad. It smells like brown sugar; it smells like a woman. My eyebrows furrow anxiously as I gaze at the vehicle pulling in because I'm sure Godric knows who it is that is coming. I look to him in search of an explanation but instead he says something quite different, "Are you ready to see your new kingdom?"

"My kingdom?" I repeat, completely blown away. I don't understand what he means. There's no such thing as kingdoms and I'm no princess. I don't know what he means.

"Yes," he nods with a little secret smile that is bashful like the young boy that had asked me to be his companion. He transforms his face in an attempt to be serious as he explains, "You are mine now. What belongs to me now belongs to you and what belongs to you now belongs to me."

"Really?"

I don't understand what this means and I don't understand how I feel about it. The thought of what he said: You are mine now. I am his. My first instinct is to blush as the blood flows through the apples of cheeks and even though I feel my stomach turn in a nice way my first thought goes to Nelson. The thought of him brings a sudden terror that jerks my insides so harshly I feel like I might fall down. The smell of earth and lavender surrounds me and when I open my eyes I realize that I have hidden myself against his chest, wrapping my arms around him in the form of an awkward hug. I'm filled with such embarrassment because he's not even hugging me back.

This continual moving without my control is too much for me; I just can't keep it up. I turn my head away as I begin to pull back but before I can completely leave his arms tighten and I am stuck in place. I pause my breathing as I try to figure out how to respond to what is going on around me. His arms slightly melt but he is still so stiff as if he has never been hugged before. A feeling of absolute sadness washes over me at the thought of him having never received a hug. I had gotten so many hugs before being stuck in that place but it seems to me that Godric has never been given one.

The sound of the engine cutting off fills the graveyard just as Godric's arms pull away. I look up with a frown—I had gotten used to the embrace—but hold back any response once I see that his face has become serious. He repeats, "Are you ready?"

I nod my head briefly as I complete the detachment of the hug, "I'm ready."

Godric steps away from the grave we had been standing against but I find myself frozen and unable to move. I feel like I am caught between the place I had just emerged from and wherever Godric wants me to go. I remember the hole in my cell and I remember looking out at the smiling faces of the girls while battling that instinct inside of me to just stay still. I'm panicked slightly, wishing I could pull them back inside of the basement with me so that we could figure out a better way to get out of there. But I'm still rigid in my place.

Just like Cally the soft hand of Godric meets my fingers and I feel an electric current zigzag through me as if I have been struck by lightning. I turn my face toward him nervously to see if he can feel it but surprisingly that thing keeping me still is gone. I'm free from the ties to the hole in the ground that had been my home for such a short time and somehow I find joy in that. Laughter begins to jump out of my throat, tickling my stomach and body so much that I can't stop myself from continuing to do it. My free hand rises to cover my mouth but once I have contact with my lips I feel the tickling all over again.

"What is so funny?" Godric's tone forces me to look up at him and I can see that his face is a mixture of uncertainty. There is the ghost of a smile like he wants to laugh too but there is fear there as if he's afraid that I'm laughing at him.

I shake my head to tell him that I'm not laughing at him as it subsides. I don't have a real answer for his question but at this point I'm not sure it really matters. I could tell him anything and there's no way he would know the truth from a lie and I suppose I have to decide how I want our relationship to unfold. Do I want to be a liar or to I want to be honest? I decide I want to be honest, "I feel free."

"You are free."

There is a purity in his voice that I understand and I choose to believe is real. I choose to believe that he is being honest and he is telling the truth because I can feel it inside of myself that he is. I'm not in that cell anymore. I'm not dying in the snow. I'm not even lying in that grave or connected to it. I'm standing on my own, holding Godric's hand in the middle of a cemetery on a beautiful night. I am different from how I was but I am free. I am free.

Godric begins to walk and I decide to follow with him but I find myself becoming addicted to the way that it feels. I'm not just walking; I'm gliding! It feels like I'm standing in place as the ground moves for me as if I'm on some giant conveyor belt that moves with my every desire. There is no amount of effort I have to exert in order to accomplish this action and I find myself curious as to what else I can do without any bother!

But obviously this is no time for that. As we get closer to the black SUV I can smell the brown sugar lipstick that suddenly becomes a cloud of poison I don't understand. Even though my heart isn't beating I can feel my blood pumping through me quicker and Godric dips his head low so that he can ask against my ear, "What is troubling you?"

I don't have an answer. I shake my head as I watch the woman step from around the other side of the vehicle to face us. She is tall—a little taller than Godric but much taller than me—and more than tall she is long. Her heels are high and sharp while her outfit is tight and black. She is so stunning I am transported back to the first time we had arrived at that place. There were so many girls then and they pushed us against the wall, forcing us to step over the dead bodies, and made us strip naked as they watched. From the group they grabbed the most beautiful of the women and pulled them inside where they lived in the nicer area with the other gorgeous girls.

"It is complete?"

She sounds so much like Benita that I can hardly hear Godric when he says, "Yes, Isabel. I-"

Bennie had been standing behind me in the line that we were all forced to walk in as we entered the place. She had been so different on that first day; she was neither feisty nor tough enough to say no. I remember the sound of her crying and shaking so hard as she tried to cover her body with her hands. I stopped short on the line and she bumped into me and suddenly she began to shriek. She grabbed onto me and wouldn't let me go as we tumbled to the ground and she screamed and screamed and screamed as the men tried to pry us apart and when they couldn't they began to hit us until I became loose. After that was when she had changed.

"Amie! What is the meaning of this?"

The last few seconds trickle in as I realize that I am pinned against Godric's chest with my back to him and a snarl toward the woman I assume to be Isabel. I had tried to attack her but with their quick thinking and movements they redirected my actions until I was subdued in his arms. There is so much bewilderment in their eyes and I'm positive I will be punished for this—how can I not? I want to open my mouth to explain to Godric what had happened but there is nothing that will come. I don't even know why I acted so viciously and I can't begin to try to figure it out.

"Answer me," he demands and the blood inside of me leaps at his command.

"She's alive and Benita isn't!" the words come out before I can plan them and suddenly I feel that hard knot in the center of my stomach snap open to release all kinds of venom into my body, "I'm alive and my sisters aren't."

It's then that Godric's hold on me releases completely until I'm free again and yet shackled in another way. My eyes find the ground once more because I can't bring myself to look between them. Allie had wondered what made me so special that the men would exempt me from going to bed with the others that had arrived. She wondered what was so different about me that they hardly laid a hand on my pale skin. The answer had always been nothing.

I'm just a speck of dust.

"I'm sorry for attacking you," I manage to let out in order to split the silence.

She opens the door to the back seat as she shakes her head, "Don't apologize. I was new once too. I remember I tore down an entire building with my bare hands."

"An entire building?" I question out loud.

She smiles as she repeats, "An entire building."

I feel Godric's hand at my back suddenly and I know it's to encourage me into the SUV. Without another move I enter the vehicle and scoot all the way to the other door where I can sit against the window. I find it strange that we are inside of a car when I feel like I could run around the globe without getting tired but I keep my comment to myself. The interior of the thing is cream but outlined in a red that looks like blood and makes me want to cringe. From the front seat Isabel offers Godric a glass bottle of red stuff but he shakes his head and she keeps it in the front instead.

The car comes to life but remains idle until Godric orders: "Take us home, Isabel."

She nods, "Yes, Sheriff."

Sheriff? I turn my head away from Isabel and the brown sugar smell to him but before I can ask my question his hand rests over mine and I'm stunned into silence. His eyes are out the window as if what he has done is no big deal but to me it feels huge. From the "hug" we shared in the cemetery it's clear that he isn't strong with affection but here he is with his unprovoked hand over mine while we drive as if he is comforting me.

And I do feel comforted.

I can remember one time that a guest had grabbed my hand when everything was quiet and had made me sit with him in the parlor on the red sofa. All the lights were off as we stared out at the darkest part of the night and I remember he had been crying though I couldn't see his face. He had turned it away from me as he held my hand and cried silent tears while I waited for it to be over. It was nice but it was nothing like this; this was done by kindness and not at all by force.

The SUV comes to a stop way before I realize we have driven out of the cemetery. I look out the window in an attempt to pinpoint where we are but so far all I can tell is that there is no snow and we are on a quiet street in a quiet neighborhood. The sound of the door opening catches my attention and I follow Godric out of the back seat and onto the sidewalk where they talk about something I can't understand. I'm easily the smallest between them but that doesn't bother me because I'm facing the kingdom Godric has promised me and I am in love.


	3. Chapter 3

Together, Isabel and Godric speak in tones of absolute professionalism I come to understand means that I have no business listening. And that is just fine with me. Instead of noisy-ing my way into their conversation I focus on the beautiful home that stands before me. Unlike many of the other houses on the street this one doesn't come right up against the curb. There is a row of steps that guides us downward to another level where the house sits isolated from its neighbors. Many of the other houses are large with some great distance between each other too but this one is obviously different.

From what I can see it's a ranch styled home with only one level that stretches out into a large rectangular shape. Since we're not that high above it I can't see if there's a backyard or what's in the middle. From the end of the short flight of stairs and all the way to the door are stone circles that look like lily pads on a grassy pond. Fresh green roams over the entire front yard except for the stone path and over the walkway is an arch of flowers that makes it look like a heavenly tunnel. Despite the fairytale outside the house itself looks very modern like a cement brick with pristine edges and thick flat windows that are black and reveal nothing inside.

There is a lot of space here and though I don't want to get my hopes up I feel like this place is just for Godric and me. But I don't know what that means to me. I don't know if it's even true. There are so many questions I have that have yet to be answered and I don't even know where to begin or when to ask. So much is going on and I don't want to seem ungrateful though I'm not even sure what I should be grateful for.

"Are you positive you'd like no assistance?"

Isabel's question pulls me from my enchantment with the house so that I'm left confused. Why would he need her assistance? Is he in danger or something?

My eyes shift between the two in time to see Godric's brief, regal smile while he replies, "No, I am fine. Return to Hugo."

"Hugo?"

I didn't mean to ask my question out loud but it came anyway.

Isabel's stern expression shifts to one of slight amusement as she nods, "Yes. Hugo is my human companion."

"Human companion?" I question totally intentionally.

There's a slight blush that forms across her features and I can see both she and Godric looking between each other with that same uncertainty that plagues this night. I wonder if I should already know the answer to this question though I'm sure it's not a common thing. I open my mouth to tell her she doesn't have to answer if she doesn't want to but she is already defiantly replying, "He is my boyfriend."

"Oh."

I'm smiling way beyond my control as thin fringes of thread are slowly being formed together in my thoughts. Though I hadn't actively thought it I guess I might have assumed that Godric and Isabel might have had a fling or something. It shouldn't matter but this strong connection I feel with him makes me thrilled at the fact it isn't so. Beyond that I'm happy to see that she has a boyfriend that makes her blush and gives her that twinkling in her eyes. I really am.

They turn away from me and Isabel bows her head, "Thank you, Sheriff."

He nods his head once instead of replying verbally to her statement. Finally Godric's attention turns totally and completely to me and I find myself with that strange tummy turning I felt when he had said that I was his. As if he knows exactly how I'm feeling his eyes turn away from me and instead to the house that is before us. He offers me his hand and I take it so that he can guide me down the steps and across the lily pads. I would have liked to enjoy the flowers that hang over us in the tunnel-like arch but the conveyor belt works just as well as it did back in the cemetery.

Once inside Godric shuts the door behind us and on some panel by the entrance he begins pressing a strange series of buttons until all the lights turn on—including the beautiful fireplace. I have no idea what to look at first. Though everything has a very modern, pristine feel it still has the look of a fairytale cottage completely separate from the rest of society. Where we stand is exactly what faces the front of the street and I see it is one long hallway designed like a living room that leads to a kitchen far off in the other right corner while we stand in the left. There are plenty of comfortable seats and couches with soft looking blankets hanging over them and plush rugs I know must feel good underfoot. In the corner that we are in a fireplace burns welcomingly and produces kind warmth that takes the cold away.

The colors are all so different and yet they complement each other like a garden or a meal of extraordinary flavor. It all blends together so well, though when I focus every little thing sticks out. The black windows I had seen outside don't even appear to be windows at all and instead are covered in a thick black material that prevents any light from coming in or out. Down the other hallway I can see there are many doors that lead to rooms and still there is the overall theme of a fairytale flowing throughout the large rectangle house. I want to go exploring so badly but first there are things that have to be figured out.

I turn my attention to Godric and blush when I realize that he has been watching me as I took in my surroundings all at once. I find my voice in a small part of me so that I can ask, "Sheriff?"

"In due time I will explain everything to you," he responds with a soft undertone that implies a smile that I can't see, "But for now, what do you think of your new ho-?"

"I love it!"

The phrase leaps out of my mouth with no control but I'm not afraid of what I have said because suddenly he begins to laugh like he had only two other times before. Unlike with Isabel he seems to relax in my presence and I find myself relaxing alone in his too. I want to bring up the prospect of exploring but I have to kick myself to remember that I still have no idea what's going on.

"But I don't understand what any of this means. What's going on, Godric? Why am I here?"

His smile crumbles immediately and I feel as though I have been struck with an invisible hand. I shrivel inside of myself as I shut my eyes to shield my face from any harm. I know that look too well. It's the look that occurs when one of the girls have been too bold. It's the look that occurs after a bark and right before a bite. Whatever strange thing has happened inside of me has given me too much courage and I am due for punishment. I just know it.

But instead of a fierce first I feel Godric's strong and tender hand lifting my face as it had done by the grave. My hands hang limp by my sides as I take in that earth and lavender scent once again and when I open my eyes I see that he is just one step away from me. His face is hard while his voice is strong, "Why do you cower before me like a slave to his master and whip? Do I frighten you that much?"

"No!" I shout too loudly as I step back from him so that I can hold myself in my arms once again, "I don't know. I'm just so scared!"

"Of what?"

My hand is between both of his and he has stepped forward once again so we can occupy the same space. There is genuine concern in his eyes that turns his once hard features into gentle ease. My heart might not be beating but my blood is rushing much faster than it should. I feel comforted by his contact but I don't know how long that will last. I shake my head and whisper, "They would hit us if we did something wrong."

Silence.

"They would hit us if we did something wrong and would hit us even if we did everything right. They were easy on me but what they did to the other girls? I don't want to think about it but I can't forget. They killed everyone and somehow I'm still alive and I…" I step away from him as I shake my head, "I don't even know who you are. I don't even know what's going on. How can I trust you won't do the same?"

Still there is no reply.

I look away, suddenly so angry as I snap, "I don't know why I said anything. It's stupid because I'm stronger, faster, and smarter now so I can defend myself. I'm not weak or slow and I can do anything and even if they come they can't hurt me again!"

"You're right."

I pause.

"They can't."

Godric is hard once again. He's solid and strong and serious and unmoving and I don't know how I feel about what I am seeing before me. He looks like the calm before the storm and my mind catapults back to the first time I had seen him—back when he was Death.

"It might be impossible to conceive at this moment but do you recall what I asked you?" his tone is serious and I know I have to respond.

"Yes," I nod because I know I can't ever forget.

"Did you agree?"

"Of course."

There is a flicker of some sort of emotion I haven't captured beneath his stare but this is no time for that kind of searching. Godric declares, "Because of that agreement we are bonded to one another for the rest of our lives. You are vampire now and while that comes with many disadvantages it comes with great strengths as well. As you said, you are stronger, faster, and smarter than before but that's not all. You are the world's fiercest hunter hidden behind that breath-taking face and while you can do anything you please I promise you here and now that you won't have to lift a single finger. You may not trust me now but in time I promise to show you that there is no one on this earth that will care for you as I can and I will. No one will ever hurt you ever again, Amie. Not even me. Is that understood?"

"Understood," I whisper, completely stunned.

"Good," he nods before motioning down the hall that is toward the kitchen, "Let us continue with the tour. I have been waiting to give you my present all evening?"

"Present?"

I wonder out loud but all he does is smile. We walk down the inviting hallway in silence but it's just as well because I'm focused on every surface that could be made of glass covered entirely by the black, thick material that was there before. He said that I was a vampire now—something too much for even my new mind to comprehend—so I assume it's to protect us from the sun but even at night? I'm sure there's a lot we have to go over but still I feel as though I should already know this information. I never knew much about vampires before I was taken and I never thought I'd learn much after but here I am completely ignorant on the subject of my own species. I feel like a fool.

Godric stops in the handsome kitchen and I stop with him. Everything is definitely set up to professional standards but I'm confused. Do vampires eat food? With a crazy blur Godric moves to the cabinet and then returns with a red drink in a glass, "This will be undesirable but I need you to drink every last drop."

I don't hesitate.

In a second the whole thing is down my throat and I'm gagging at the awful taste. I can hear him chuckling at the sight of me but I don't care. I half expect to begin melting since I have obviously been poisoned but I don't and instead I feel much fuller than I have in my entire life. I feel like a bouncy house that's just been filled up with air but at the same time I'm suddenly so tired like I'm being deflated. Godric takes the glass from me and places it in the sink before resting his hand on my shoulder and guiding me down the other hall.

"That was awful, Godric," I yawn in an attempt to not let his hand on my shoulder affect me in anyway.

"I apologize for that," he smiles, letting me know he really isn't sorry at all.

And that's just fine because I'm too busy trying to figure out the exact lay out of the house. The last hallway was pretty thick and wide with plenty of room to move around but this one seems only big enough for three people to walk side by side. I see that it's because there are lots of rooms on either side of the hallway that are taking up much of the space. There are three doors on either side of this row and further down to the end is a very large door that sits in the corner. I start to get the idea that maybe there are important things on each corner of the place but I'm not too sure about that yet because we have reached our destination.

Godric pauses in front of the second door on the right and turns to look at me with such excitement in his eyes that I find myself getting very nervous, "This is the gift I have been so eager to present to you all evening."

With a swift motion he opens the door, the lights turning on as if by a sensor that has been informed that we have just arrived. My breath is caught in my throat at the sight of exactly what is in front of me. It's a closet—not a closet but a palace of fabrics!—that is entirely filled with clothes and shoes and make up and accessories and all sorts of things that should only belong to a princess. Everything is organized so immaculately I can find exactly what I'm looking for without even making a move. To the right I assume is all the Spring/Summer clothes while on the left is Fall/Winter but still there are things from each side I want to hold onto and never let go.

I'm so enchanted by every ounce of material that I immediately get lost as I submerge myself in this place that Godric has said is my own. Most of the walls are lined with shelves that are split by shoes and accessories—the former on the bottom and the latter on the top—but on the one that holds the door there is a vast array of mirrors and benches fit only for make up to be applied. Across from the door there is a center aisle that guides to a huge set of mirrors surrounding a small stage I assume is where the clothing needs to be tailored. I catch a brief glimpse of myself in the middle of my frolicking and rush to the mirrors so that finally I can see what I have become. Finally I can see what it means to everyone else now that I'm a vampire.

My face—no, not my face anymore—no longer holds the redness of Nelson's hand on my cheek. There are no bruises on my body anymore and I work hard to make sure that every surface is free from the purple, blue, yellow that had once owned me. But that's not just it. My body doesn't seem like my body because suddenly it is stronger, it is better, faster, and beautiful and when I look at myself I don't see me. When I look at myself I see a woman that is mature and defiant and standing tall with a demand to be seen and heard. I don't see a speck of dust anymore.

And my skin! My skin is ghost white, far paler than Godric's or Isabel's or any other person I have ever seen for that matter. I have always been light-skinned despite my father's African heritage. It's my mother—who comes directly from France—which I mostly take after except for my eyes and the curls of my hair. My hair! In that place it had been dull and limp but now it is alive! It is gold like my grandmother's and bouncing and curling and as bright as the sun and I just can't believe it's back to how it was once more. My eyes are so bright and blue that I can almost see my father and grandfather's set inside of them.

The main difference I see is that every feature is much more defined than they had been before. Everything stands alone and yet together to create what has become my face in this new life that I have been given. I don't recognize myself but somewhere deep inside of me that is now bubbling free I can see something that has been mine all of my life and can never be changed. I see the hope I had lost in that bad place. I see it here now in front of me as if it's the hope and not the vampirism that has changed me. Hope I can accept—even if it's not fully here just yet.

There's a shift in the floor that suddenly brings me back to the reality that Godric has been standing behind me the entire time and I am completely naked, "Oh no! I'm sorry!"

I shout these things as I rush behind one of the clothes racks but to my amusement Godric is looking down at the ground like that blushing boy I so rarely have seen. His cheeks are completely red while his head is dipped low as if the carpeting in the room is so magically important all of a sudden while he holds what appears to be a silk night gown in his hands, "As I said before, your strange behavior is expected. There is no need for you to apologize but I have brought you a night gown from your room that you may change into if you please."

"Close your eyes," I request as I slowly step around from the clothes rack to grab the nightgown. I don't have to check that he has listened to me because I can feel more than see that his eyes are squeezing shut. From his hands I take the nightgown and slip it on right in front of him and when I'm done I gently rest my hand against his as I smile, "Thank you."

His fingers close around mine with the barest of strength as he opens his eyes and instead of accept he insists, "Thank _you_."

Though we are nearly an arms length apart we are close enough for me to get a clear look into his eyes for this first time this strange evening. They are a blue that I have never before seen and I doubt anyone else has seen before either. I don't have anything I can match them to because everything I have come across before dulls in comparison to his eyes. If I could try I would say they are two endless blue skies in the middle of a summer day unobstructed by clouds with no chance of rain and the sun shining bright. They are like two different forms of the planet Neptune though the water worlds are equal and almost exactly alike. The only difference is that on one I float on a calm and serene surface of forever-ocean while in the other I divide the stormy sea with a powerful sail boat that I happily own. Despite what they do or do not look like they shine constantly like stars that have seen so much and hope so little.

Beyond my control a yawn escapes my mouth and suddenly Godric's hand and eyes are gone. He has turned around on his way out the door as he speaks, "It is time I show you to your bedroom. There is another surprise I would like for you to see."

"More surprises?" I can't help but to laugh as I follow him out of the magical room and across the hall.

"I am more than certain each day will bring a variety of them for you," he pauses outside of the door directly across from where we had just come from, "At least until you have grown accustom to this lifestyle."

I'm tempted to tell him that I doubt I will ever grow accustomed to this lifestyle but I'm too curious about the surprise to be bothered with making that statement. My focus is on Godric and the doorknob, the doorknob and Godric until I realize Godric is waiting for _me_ to turn the doorknob. A brief smile flatters my lips as I reach forward and open the thing doubting that I can be as surprised as I had been just moments ago when gifted with that "closet."

But I'm wrong.

I rush into the open space and leap onto the massive bed that is waiting there for me. I'm not sure if it's king sized or queen sized but it doesn't matter because I'm in love with it since it seems to have come right out of one of my fantasies. All of my life I've always wanted a canopy bed with a dark merlot finish and curtains of pastel shades to surround. The entire room seems to be a dream to me with each article of furniture the same dark finish I adore. The floor is a thick African mahogany that brings out the white of the round rug that the bed sits on as well as the brilliant pastels that make up the bed. The walls remain mostly some soft shade of white but the one right behind the bed is an intricate and unique design of different flowers as if I have a garden right here in the room.

"This is absolutely amazing! This place just can't get any better!" I shout as I wrap myself in the thick blankets on top of the bed and slowly plop down into a seated position at the edge.

There is a mischievous smirk hiding in the corner of Godric's smile that catches my attention and I'm about to ask what it means until he pulls out a small black remote and points it toward the only wall in the room that remains black, "I have one more thing to show you."

He presses a button and all of a sudden the black rises to reveal that in fact none of the black that I had seen are walls but actually windows that had been covered. I understand it's to keep out the sun during the day but what else could it be hi-

My breath is caught in my lungs.

Dead center of the rectangle that is my new home sits a massive pond with so much life and activity I can practically hear all the growth going on! Beneath the surface I can see a variety of fishes swimming this way and that while on the top floats lily pads and other kinds of vegetation coasting along the wind. A large bridge connects the large hallway that we had walked along first to the other side that still remains a mystery and from that hangs vines and moss and things that I cannot name. My immediate desire is to jump into those waters to explore the depth but when I turn my head to ask Godric I realize that I am embarrassingly pressed against the glass on the verge of breaking past it. My face reddens awkwardly as I climb down from the window seat so I can exclaim, "Everything here is a dream come true, Godric!"

"It is all for you," he declares with that serious expression though this time softened by a smile in his eyes. He joins me beside the window and motions across the pond to another room that I can just barely see into, "That is where I will retire for the evening."

"We won't share this room?"

The question leaves my mouth before I realize what I'm saying. I don't know how or why it came out because he is a stranger that I don't know anything about yet. Sure, I trust him already with every part inside of me that makes me who I am but that's not enough to assume we will be sleeping together from now on. But even still, I can feel this strong connection toward him and though I don't immediately want to jump into bed with him I don't know how I feel about the idea of him leaving me on my own. I haven't been alone in so long; I don't know what's like anymore. I don't know if I can manage even getting to sleep without knowing there is someone to watch my back.

I open my mouth to explain but he cuts me off with his gentle voice.

"No. This room is yours to enjoy alone but have no fear, Amie. Nothing can harm you while you are under my care. Though I might seem a great distance away my first priority will always be your safety. You have my word. No harm will come to you while I am here," he's a statue that hides so much inside of himself but despite the secrecy of his emotions I believe in every single word.

I swallow hard as I nod my head and say once again, "Thank you, Godric."

His hand reaches up as if it will touch my face but he stops halfway to let his palm hover over my shoulder without actual contact, "No, thank _you_. Sleep well, we have much to go over tomorrow and you will need your rest."

"Can't wait," I reply and watch as he turns away from me.

He shuts the door behind himself and I try to watch his walk toward his room as best as I can until the black walls descend and completely block my vision. This night has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions that I have yet to sort through or figure out. But once I lay my head on the bed and shut my eyes I am out like a light and figuring out those things doesn't quite matter anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

Despite being "dead" my first rest as a vampire is plagued by an awful nightmare. In this dream-place I'm standing with Godric in the snow but we are absolutely silent. Instead of communicating we stand facing one another as the snow drifts around us until it is all that we can see. I'm satisfied with just this until the first gun shot echoes around me. Instinctively I jerk my body toward action but Godric's stare alone keeps me in place.

Stunned into paralysis the only thing I can do is stare into those magic eyes with desperate yearning. I know what's going on, I can hear the screams and the shouts and the laughter and the chaos but I cannot make a move. Tears burn my vision so that everything mixes along with the snow and the only thing that becomes my reality is what I cannot do. I'm a vampire now and I'm with Godric and together we can save everyone but we don't move.

Why won't he let me help?

Why won't he let me do anything?

The sound of wheels whirling tugs me out of my deep slumber and catapults me out of bed. I expect to be met with cold and pain and hurt and terror but a brief scan of everything around me quells my immediate worry. I'm in my new room now. The black wall is up to reveal the fresh night sky and the pond that rests just beneath it. Across from my window is the one that peaks into Godric's room and from my place on the bed I can just barely see him on the verge of sitting up too.

Part of me wants to wait for him to get me but I'm too restless to wait in bed anymore. I slide out from beneath the canopy so that I can rush to the closet that calls to me. After slipping inside I shut the door behind me so that I can take in the beauty of everything all over again. Before I had been taken to that place I was an only child with a very loving family and a mother that taught me how enchanting dressing up can be. We use to play all the time together and randomly have our meals in our fancy dinner clothes but being stuck in that place has made me lose my style in exchange for appreciation of anything that isn't soiled by someone else's blood.

But now I can't appreciate anything because I have done an awful thing.

Last night I was able to think about my family as an abstract concept without feeling the emotional ties that bind us but now that I have focused on a memory I'm losing my grip once again. My hand lifts up to keep in any sound that I might create as tears spill into my eyes but I don't know if that will be enough. When Nelson had given me the news I swore I would never think about them again if I could. I swore that in order to survive I would have to bury the news deep down inside of me until I was safe and allowed to mourn but not even that is good enough. I know now that I can never think about them because I will never be able to handle it.

Never.

I grab at a dusty rose dress and bring it to the mirrors with the intention of changing immediately but once I take off my nightgown I become lost again. For a long time I had such a childish body with nothing like the breasts that I own or the hips that are curved like they are. I had been pin straight for so long I never thought it would change. I was twelve years old when the Doctor told my mother and me the bad news. Of course I didn't really think it was bad news.

The doctor—Dr. Arnold—had explained that because of some medicine my mother had taken during her pregnancy with me I would never be able to have children of my own. I wouldn't have a menstrual cycle like the other girls or develop like them either, which I was just fine with. This thing called puberty had turned the girls into monsters and my friends into strangers over night and I wanted nothing to do with it. I remember my mother's sad eyes though as she heard the news. She was so upset I thought she would break down right there in the office but she kept it together for me.

I didn't have the nerve to tell her that I didn't want to develop like the other girls. I wanted to tell her that I wasn't interested in the way boys and girls treated each other because of sexual things. I didn't want girl parts that made guys swoon or men interested. I just wanted to play with my dogs in the backyard and have our fancy dinner parties together.

But I didn't get my wish.

Around my sixteenth birthday was when my body had decided to go crazy on me. I would look in the mirror and cry at what I saw because not even the largest clothes could cover me up. Of course the bodies of my sisters showed me what real women were forced to deal with yet in my old life what I had was enough. His name was Patrick and he was my best friend's dad. It was at our joined birthday party that he told me I was special and I could be a model. I asked for the bathroom but I got something different instead.

"Amie?"

Godric's voice is just outside of my room, which means he is across from where I am and if he were to come in he would see me naked again. To the back corner that can't be seen from the door I rush to avoid his stare as I call out, "I'm in here!"

"Are you alright?"

Godric's voice fills up the entire atmosphere making it hard to try and hide the evidence of my crying. My eyes stay upward toward the light—an old myth I had heard to dry tears—as I wipe my face with my nightgown then change into the dress, "I'm fine. I was just playing dress up until you woke up."

"You have no need to hesitate in awakening me, Amie. I have forgotten that a new vampire often rises as soon as the sun sets," he speaks in a tone so steady I can tell he is nervous though I don't know how.

After clipping the dress at my hip I move out from my hiding place to meet him as I nod, "Okay."

"Good. Now that we are both ready we have important matters to discuss concerning our-"

I turn my attention to him with immediate concern. Though we don't know each other that well I'm sure he doesn't just stop sentences for no reason. I search for the cause of the break but when I look at him there is nothing I can see wrong except for his cryptic expression. With uncertainty I question, "Our?"

"You have been crying," his hands take hold of my face as if to inspect something lifeless that has just been filled with life. I want to take a step back from him but the gentleness with which he touches me makes me want to hide in his arms to escape the memories knocking at the back of my skull. To my surprise though he solemnly whispers, "Do you regret accepting my proposal?"

"No!"

Anger begins to stir in me as I step out of his hold on my face but it's not at him—it's at me. How could it have been so easy for him to tell that I had been crying? Am I really that easy to read? I thought I could have hidden it well by wiping my tears away on my nightgown but it seems he's not easy to fool. I glance down at the thing in my hand with the intention of throwing it away but something terrifying captures my attention.

My chest begins to constrict as I see the red stains on the fabric I had just worn and when I reach my fingertips to my face I see that there is more. My hand comes away with bloody smears that cause me to shiver in revulsion as I stammer, "Wha-? What is this? What's happening?"

"You are a vampire now, Amie," he begins but I don't have the patience to let him finish.

"I _know_. I know that I'm a vampire but what is this? Why am I _bleeding_?" I cry out as I watch that with each swipe of my hand more and more of that sickening red is produced, "What is this? What is this!"

Godric grasps my wrists suddenly in a solid hold that keeps my hands away from my face as my body vibrates chaotically. His eyes are dead center on me but I'm shaking so much I can't find a focus on anything that's going on. All I see before me is Cally's head with that mush squishing between my fingers as I try to put her head together. I see Cassy's leg mangled and distorted by what had happened to her in that bear trap. There's Allie…Allie's face beneath the center of that bastard's boot.

But that's not all.

That's not even it!

That massacre is replaying before my eyes and I feel a scream on the verge of my throat but before it can escape Godric seals it back up with an embrace I didn't expect and couldn't plan for. His arms are so tight around me I might suffocate if I had been my old self. I want to ask him what he's doing but when I try to gain control of my voice I realize that I'm still crying and I'm thrashing around and the only thing that's stopping me from going crazy is how he holds me right now. That dream hits me and I want to slam my fists against his chest but all I can really do is cry as I succumb to his hold. That earth and lavender smell is all around me but I don't know if I can enjoy it with all these emotions that are boiling over. I shut my eyes and take in deep breaths through my nose that I release through my mouth until I'm calm yet he doesn't release me until five minutes have passed.

When he lets me go I feel embarrassed for losing it and becoming so frantic. There's a part of me that is desperate to apologize but I can't even manage to look at him as I step back from the single space we had just shared. The silence surrounds us until he lets out a deep breath, "There are aspects of the vampire life that even the oldest of our kind still struggle with to this very day. There are pieces of our unique and unanimous truth that members of our kind choose to ignore or deny because it makes living too difficult or to strenuous to maintain. There is information that you will need to know to survive and information you might be able to live a long life without ever acquiring but I swear to you that I will give you everything. Whatever you would like to know; whatever you would not like to know. I will give you an answer to the best of my knowledge and if that does not satisfy you I will not stop you from doing what you must to be find joy. No matter what it means, I will not stand in the way of your happiness but all I ask is that you give me this night to explain the basics before you decide to go. Is that acceptable?"

The curious blender of emotions still rises inside of me but even if I wanted to I can't deny Godric's plea. I trust in him, trust that he will be positively honest with me and yet I'm not soothed. He speaks like I have the choice to leave, stay, or something else but whether I accept what has happened to me or not I have no options. If I decide to leave I have nowhere in the world to go. My home has been eradicated by Nelson's hand so right now Godric is all that I have.

"Amie?"

To pull myself out of my mind I nod my head, "Okay. We can do that."

The air around us changes as Godric turns around with determination in his step. I follow him, of course, but suddenly I can feel this desperation inside of me that I can't understand. His back is my only guide as I navigate through what I'm feeling but this desperation makes me feel so frightened I just might return back to that hysterical state. It had been five months into my captivity that Nelson pulled me into his office alone. I was afraid that it would be the night that he finally took me like he took the other girls but instead he did something much worse. He sat me down and on his desk there sat a flyer with my face on it. On the top were red bold letters that spelled out the word: MISSING.

At first I felt so happy at the thought that my family was searching for me but slowly I realized that if Nelson had it…something bad must have happened. There was that smile on his face that never left with those dead eyes I could never stare into. It all came in a blur. He told me they couldn't have any loose ends like that anymore and either they killed me or they killed them. I was too valuable—he said—to waste on an easy kill and so they had to get rid of everyone I loved.

I swore I wouldn't think about it.

"Do you recall that drink I had you consume last night?"

My face turns upward so that I can look at him and I find it so strange that I didn't realize we had walked into the kitchen. I swallow down the tight ball that had filled my throat as I reply, "Yeah, that awful thing?"

There's a brief flash of what might be amusement behind his eyes but he's way too morose to commit to the emotion, "Yes, the awful thing."

"Do I have to drink it again?"

He's quiet for a moment as he pulls from the cabinet a glass and a bottle that looks very familiar. Godric seems to be gathering his words as he opens the top to pour the contents into the tall glass. There's a stray memory that tugs on my mind as I stare at the bottle and it isn't until I catch a glimpse of the label that I realize where it's from.

That man that had forced me to hold his hand in the darkest hours of the night had sat drinking that exact drink. He had looked so sad as we rested on that couch staring out into the night sky. I had been so nervous about what to do or what to say but all we had was silence. The noises of the grunting men crept their way around us as if to remind me of what we should be doing but he remained still. Just before the sun was to rise he released me to my chamber and that was the last time I saw him.

"I want you to understand, Amie, that here you have a choice," his voice is tender as if he is nervous though his regal manner makes it strange for me to believe that he could be, "Have you heard any news of the vampire existence within the past three years?"

I shrug to express how uncertain that I am, "Not really. I remember my parents explaining what vampires are and explaining that just because people are different doesn't mean we should treat them bad but that's all."

"Have you heard of Tru Blood?"

"No, but I have seen it before," I answer honestly.

"Good," he responds as he hands me the glass he just poured, "Despite whatever misconceptions the flavor has given you I ask that you try to understand that Tru Blood is a powerful aid to vampires all around the globe. Since the beginning of time Vampires have depended on the consumption of human blood to thrive in our world but with the advent of this drink that is no longer the case. Tru Blood is an alternative source of nutrition for our species and has allowed us to assimilate into human society without fear that we will attack them on sight. However, the option still remains to deny this fantastic creation in favor of the real thing."

"The real thing…" I pause, "Meaning blood?"

"Yes," Godric nods his head as he gazes down at the glass in my hand, "Trust me when I tell you that there is nothing on this earth like human blood. I won't dare make an attempt to explain the hold it has over our kind fore no explanation can truly describe what it is and what it does for us. It heals us, it satisfies us, it arouses us, but the greatest thing that it can do is show us what we truly are. I can promise you that never again will there be an instance in which you are comfortable around a human being. Their blood will always tempt you. It will be a constant battle to control your self around their kind and, if I am being honest, you will often lose."

I don't know what to say to that. I don't know how to digest this information that is boiling inside of me. What he means is that I have become a monster that will thirst for the human walking down the street all the years that I live. What he means is that no one is safe from me just like I was never safe from anyone.

"But if you stay I can teach you to control your impulses. There are many different flavors of Tru Blood that we can try until you find the one that best fits you. It will be hard but if we work together I am certain we can find a solution," his hand reaches gently to rest just over my wrist and with that contact I can feel floodgates burst between us. From him I feel a deep-rooted sadness as if inside of him is a never-ending well of loneliness and despair that seems impossible to fill back up. I understand that though he is giving me options—to go or to stay, to drink blood or to not, that third mysterious thing that hangs in the air—he has a clear image of exactly what he wants from me.

His hand drops as if he thinks I don't appreciate his touch when I absolutely do. The flood stops before I have a clue of how he wants me to respond and I'm unsure of how I feel about that. I'm afraid to say the wrong thing yet I know saying nothing at all is the worst thing to do. There is so much zipping through my mind at once and even with my advanced mind it will take some time to go over everything. The only thing I can manage to do is drink the contents of the glass in my hand in one quick gulp before placing it into the sink as he had done the night before.

I can feel Godric's eyes on me as I grab the nearest rag I can find to wipe at the corners of my mouth. There's a small smile that lights up his eyes as he takes the cloth from me to clean off a spot that I had missed, "I will not rush you to make your decision."

"I have nowhere else to go," I whisper as I lift my eyes up to meet his, "There is no decision to be made."

"I will not force you to suffer this existence," he begins but stops as if he can't finish the thought. It's then that I realize what he means; it's then that I realize what the third option is. Anger bursts inside of me suddenly that I can't control, "Is that what you think of me? Is that what you really think? That I would rather die than face what's happening to me? You think that I would give up instead of fight? How could you? You called me brave and selfless but now you've changed your mind? You asked if I could be a companion of Death. You asked if I cold walk through the world—through the dark! I said yes, Godric! I didn't change my mind. How could you change yours?"

There's the blood again, falling from my face and spilling over my cheeks and onto my hands. That crimson liquid that stains is at it again, staining my skin and my dress and the pavement and the basement and the snow and the walls that are everywhere around me. I can feel my body shaking once again and so desperately I wrap my arms around Godric to prevent myself from careening backward into darkness.

All I did was ask to use the bathroom. I was as polite as I possibly could be and still he put that thing to my nose and…and I don't know what! Did he sell me? Did he willingly give me away at no cost? The questions come at me from all angles with the ferocity of a wave but before they can consume me I am in Godric's embrace. He is a life jacket that's keeping me afloat but still I'm being thrown back and forth by the images in my mind. I had sworn not to think about it, not to think about my parents, not to think about the things that happened during or before that place because it wasn't going to help me get through it. I had sworn!

"Amie!"

The rushing tsunami of thoughts flea to the edges of my mind as if they are pepper and Godric's voice is liquid soap detergent. The warmth of his arms, his scent, reminds me of that dark place that had felt so much like home before we had emerged. I am weak in his stronghold and so when he places his lips to my ear I can do nothing but listen to what he speaks.

"Nothing will ever change my mind about you. Always you will remain the bravest and most selfless individual I have ever come across and should you choose to leave this life it would make no difference. Deciding when it is your time to go is no cowardly decision and still you are right. I should not have pushed that on you. Foolishly I allowed my insecurities to act for me. I saw you crying and instead of comforting you as I should have done I…I let you down and for that I apologize. It was the wrong time but I suppose I wanted you to truly understand that you are in control of your own life now. I wanted to know that it was you choosing to stay here and not me forcing you."

"Godric, when I said that there was no decision to be made I meant that I had already made up my mind. I may not know what's going on or what being a vampire means but I have already made my choice. I'm staying here, with you, because for the first time in so long I finally feel safe and free and I don't want to give that up. You promised to tell me everything and now I promise to tell you everything too. This is exactly where I want to be."

If he weren't so solid and stone I would swear that I could feel his chest quaking but he is a statue that can stand the test of time. I'm tempted to pull away so that I can get a good look at him but the strength in his rigidness promises that he needs this more than I do. So, I get comfortable with my arms around him and keep my face unmoving to not displace his mouth that is still at my ear. His breath sends shivers down my spine I don't let get the best of me because I don't want to pull away. I feel like he is telling me so much with his silence and I want to tell him some things too.

I have lost everything that I have ever loved and even if I don't know what he or this situation means to me I am not going to add him to the list. When he was still Death I had asked him a question that could have had a simple answer but his was not. I had asked: _Why me?_ His reply was: _To give us the thing we have both been deprived of. Life._ In that one answer everything was revealed to me and even if I don't quite understand it yet I will honor it. He was given me a chance to hope again and I promise to return the favor.


	5. Chapter 5

"Though we look nearly identical to our human counterparts we are completely different from a physiological standpoint. As you have noticed before, our tears are now made up of our own blood instead of the common mixture of water, mucin, lipids, lysozyme, lactoferrin, lipocalin, lacritin, immunoglobulins, glucose, urea, sodium, and potassium. The cause of this difference comes from the anatomical change here," Godric's hand lifts gently so that his thumb rests just against the outside of my eye while the rest of his fingers gently coast along my cheek, "in the tear gland that secretes fluid in order keep our eyes moist."

"What's changed?" I ask with my eyes still locked onto his despite the sudden contact his had has with my face. We had decided to move to the couch by the fireplace after our embrace had fallen apart but I like sitting here and listening to all the answers he as for all of my questions.

Godric's hand falls from my skin and back onto his own lap, "Have you noticed, Amie, that no longer are you required to complete the same tasks your life had at once been ruled by?"

"What do you mean?" I wonder as I lean my head slightly against the back of the couch though I still keep my body facing him with a pillow on my lap.

"For instance," he continues, "when was the last time you used the bathroom?"

My head whips up as my eyes blow up into the massive expression I assume is surprise because I'm totally and completely surprised, "I ha-…what? I haven't even thought of…Are you serious? What! There hasn't even been the slightest urge."

"Exactly," he smiles, thoroughly amused with his ability to have shocked me, "As most are aware, the main vampiric trait is an absence of a heartbeat. Though our blood does flow it is at a much lower rate and because of this we cannot produce waste, become pregnant or impregnate others, as well as have a lower body temperature."

"So you're saying that everything's changed because we don't have a heartbeat anymore?" I wonder out loud.

"That is a theory but unfortunately we still do not know everything. Unlike humans, when a vampire faces the true death they do not leave behind a corpse—they explode. Not many are willing to go through scientific experimentation either though we have uncovered a lot of mysterious," he shifts so that his body is facing me as well though before it had been straightforward like a well-mannered king. In his new position he looks like just a kid, a young shy boy that has become suddenly interested in the conversation at hand.

"What kind of mysterious?" I goad him.

With no warning both of his hands hold up my face, pulling it higher up so that I can sit straighter while his thumbs press firmly on the spot beneath by cheek bones and right above my mouth. I open my mouth to question his actions but suddenly there is a strangely familiar "popping" sound that fills the air. His hands leave my body once more and I glance down curiously in an attempt to see what I know must be my fangs.

"How did you do that?" I question as I lift my fingers to gently tap at my new teeth.

"Our fangs are located behind the maxillary lateral incisors and while we do have control over them, often times they can protrude through certain stimulation. Pressure to the area that I have just indicated will provoke them as well as certain facial expressions but mostly they come while feeding, fighting or experiencing intense emotions. They can also extend at simple things such as the sight of blood and even sexual arousal," he explains calmly while I continue to focus on the weird strength and yet constant sensitivity of my fangs.

"These are actually really cool," I can't help but to mumble as I begin practicing on making them come in and out with just my face.

A soft chuckle falls into the air around me and forces my attention onto Godric who is smiling so warmly I can't help but to feel a tug on my unbeating heart, "I suppose they are rather cool but most find it unbecoming to play with them in public."

"Good thing I can do anything in front of you, right?" I question with a small smirk as I begin to poke at the one on my left.

His voice gets soft though as he nods his head, "Yes. You can do anything in front of me, Amie."

I drop my hand from my mouth then and pop my fangs back inside of my mouth so that I can stare at Godric who is staring at me. Inside I can feel a nervousness building that I need to get rid of immediately or else I know I'll do something regrettable, "How do you know my name?"

"That might not be so simple to answer," he immediately replies with a blush rising inside of his cheeks.

The way his cheeks light up gives me that tummy-twisting-roller-coaster-ride feeling that I usually don't like but since it's because of Godric I find myself enjoying it. His eyes are like bashful blue birds trying to hide some secret treasure but I know that he promised to tell me the truth always so the answer will come out. But that doesn't mean I can't have a little fun. Just as he does to me, I reach over so I can rest my hand gently on top of his for a light contact that I'm sure is always used to reassure me though now I use it to further redden his face, "Come on. We've got all night."

"Not necessarily true," he counters quickly, "I insist that for the duration of your first year you retire to bed by 3:00 am."

"You're giving me a bedtime?" I groan on the verge of pulling back but his fingers stretch upward to briefly lace with mine as if he is telling me not to go. I stay in the same position and focus on his now comical smile that has my blood pumping just a little bit faster.

"Of course," he nods, "Just because you can stay awake at all hours does not mean that you should."

"I thought I had a choice," I counter playfully but his body goes stiff and the comfortable place we had just found ourselves in slowly vanishes. I shake my head as if that will take back what I had just said but it doesn't so I tentatively repeat my question, "How do you know my name?"

Godric grows stiff once again and his hand slips out from under mine while he returns to his previous position, "The transformation from human to vampire is apart of the great number of mysterious that surround our kind. It is no easy task to transition from one species to another and so requires a great deal of care and patience to even make an attempt. You are too new in your afterlife to understand all that it takes to bring a vampire into this world so I will simplify the entire process into just one word that will answer your question. Blood."

My brows instantly furrow as I gaze at him but I can see he is taking a deep breath and does not need me to push him to go on.

"I understand that you have expressed no interest in blood but that does not change the fact that it is the most sacred substance in all of the world. There are many vampires that speculate our life force, our consciousness, our power comes from that which courses through our veins and I am not one to disagree with them," Godric suddenly turns toward me with such seriousness in his eyes I don't have the nerve to look away, "To share your blood is to share your essence—your soul—with whomever you allow even just one drop. Amiena, I implore that you practice cautiousness with that which lies inside of you. If you must share it, be sagacious; trust it with only those that are worthy of it. Do you understand?"

"I understand."

"You cannot take the blood lightly, it is of the greatest importan-"

"Godric," I say his name loudly as I take his hand between both of mine again to get his attention, "I won't take it lightly. Now please, explain how you know my name."

The air leaves his nostrils with the same intensity as his previous words, "The information I have on you comes directly from the substance I have just informed you of. It might not be clear to you now but in the process of your transformation an unbreakable bond was formed between us that grows stronger with each passing second. In order for you to become a member of the vampire race I had to consume your blood almost entirely and in its place I gave you mine. We were then buried underground for the duration of twenty-four hours where your name was given to me along with other aspects of your personality. What I learned from your blood I used to decorate this house, your room, the pond as well as the closet but do not be mistaken. I do not know everything about you and I would rather keep it that way. I would much prefer to learn of _you_ from _you._ "

Because of my vampire mind I have a higher capacity of understanding than I've ever had before. Though Godric explains everything to me in such a simple way I know it's mostly my new brain processing all of this information. I know now why he is so stiff and so serious about this topic because I feel stiff and serious too. In a world with so much science—science that has allowed us to no longer feed on humans—it's hard to grasp the fact that there is still so much we don't know even about ourselves. Even if I didn't know Godric was a vampire, just from the way he talks I can tell he's been educated on many subjects and the fact that he knows so much and yet admits to barely knowing anything gives me this hollow feeling I know we must share. To consider ourselves mysteries that probably will never be figured out is a hard pill to swallow but what can we do? I suppose we can just keep asking questions.

"I know this is very difficult to-"

"Godric," I interrupt, my eyes cast away toward the fire that is cackling and burning, "tell me more about our bond."

This strange—almost bubbling inside of my blood—captures my attention as if I've become so nervous I can't even speak. I turn toward Godric with sudden and great expectation and it is then that I see what's going on. He's blushing again—but not just the usual slight blush. His face is down and hard as if he's trying to convince himself to stop but it's impossible to deny the absolute redness that has taken over his face. It's adorable.

"Godric," before I realize what I'm doing I have curled up against his side with my arms wrapped around his that is closest to me while I lean my head on his shoulder, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"There is no trouble," he replies quickly, as if he's reclaimed his composure but still I feel that nervousness trickling inside of me, "I simply required a moment to consider where I should begin."

"Take all the moments you need," I say awkwardly because I'm caught in my own struggle. Should I move or should I stay; should I move or should I stay? I decide to stay.

"Do you recall my question? Do you recall what I said I would be?"

"Yes. You said you'd be my father, my brother, my friend, my…" that's what it was. Suddenly my face is as red as his had been and I'm trapped in the next word that is in the sentence. The apples of his cheeks are bright pink while this wave of shame washes over me that I don't understand and yet understand completely. To make the feeling go away I try to finish in a light tone that falls very short of the mark, "lover."

"Because of the blood that we share we are eternally united with a bond that transcends anything human or supernatural. The bond between a Maker and his Child is so great that I will be able to feel all that you do; strong emotion, pleasure, or pain shall be shared between us at every moment and at any distance. Our bond allows me to have reign over your body that I will use if ever you lose control of your impulses, though I doubt it will be necessary. If I require your assistance I am able to send you my exact location in the form of a shiver that will compel you to come to my aid," Godric's tone is purely informational, as if he's giving a lecture to an audience and not just to me who is very excited and increasingly more at peace with this afterlife I share with him.

"That doesn't sound so bad," I comment to create some lightness in the air but there's no way he'll let that happen.

"Though creating a Child is the only honest pleasure a vampire can have it comes at a great price. If you were to be harmed in anyway that pain would come to me tenfold. If you were to meet the True Death…"

His voice trails off then as he looks away from me and to some other, distant place. I pull away from my hold on his arm so that I can focus on him but it seems like the conversation will end there. So many thoughts run through my mind but the only thing I can manage to concentrate on is this pain in my heart that I doubt will leave but the trouble is I know it's not mine. I reach my hand forward to rest just beneath his chin but the burst of emotion that comes from the contact of his skin forces me to act much braver than I anticipated. My hand slips to his cheek so that I can guide his face toward mine with this unbearable urge to kiss him though I resist just that.

It seems my action gives him enough courage to speak because he takes a deep breath and looks into my eyes, "There is no pain that can come close to that of losing a Child. If you were to meet the True Death there is no way to explain the unspeakable anguish I would be forced to endure. All of the advantages that come with our bond mean nothing in comparison to that one awful truth. The world is a dangerous place, my Child, do not underestimate anyone or anything."

"I won't," I whisper softly as I lean my forehead lightly against his, "But please, stop making everything sound so much worse than it is. I'm not upset about my new life and all the weird things that come with it especially if that means you are one of them. Things are so much better now that I have you as my father, my brother, my friend, my-"

"Protector," he suddenly changes and I'm worried of what that could me until I see his smile and feel his arms lightly wrap around me surprisingly, "your teacher, your guide, as well as anything you could possibly need me to be."

"Right now I just need you to be happy," I grin as I drop my head to rest on his shoulder, "Can you do that?"

I can feel him nod as he pulls me in just the slightest bit closer, "I can do that."

The nervous, anxious feeling that had been plaguing me through our conversation is gone in this place that is undoubtedly ours. If I'm being honest—which my relationship with Godric now encourages me to be—this is a strange position I find myself in. On one hand all I know of Godric is his kindness and his promises that mean so much to me because I'm sure he can keep them yet on the other hand I have nothing substantial except for the fact that he is the Sheriff (whatever that means). The logical side of me thinks that I should pull away and keep our intimacy at an arms length until I have more information on him but an even larger side reigns. The side that is in control is the side that I assume to be all vampire; it's a side of mystery, of magic, of feeling over fact. This side tells me that Godric is the only person that matters now and that the safest place for me is in his arms because that is the only place I can't be hurt. That side tells me to go further than just our embrace and to trust that Godric will bring me to absolute bliss, no matter what it takes. That side tells me not to worry anymore because I am exactly where I am meant to be; all the stars have aligned for Godric and I; these are the only facts that I need.


End file.
